


The Godchild

by CrowKing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Godparents, also angst, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowKing/pseuds/CrowKing
Summary: You are excited when your best friend, Laura Barton, names you as little Natasha's godmother. You are more than ready to take care of her. Little do you know, Clint has also picked out a godfather for his new daughter...Loki.A series inspired by my previous work "The Polar Express" where Loki and you meet and take on your roles as godparents to Natasha Barton during a time where the Barton family and other members of SHIELD are threatened. How far would you go to protect your goddaughter? How far would Loki go?





	1. Chapter 1

You held her in your arms. Her soft breathing and closed eyes made the end of the day all that much better. It had been a hell of a day, but if you holding newest Barton close then it couldn’t be all so bad. 

“Natasha huh?” you inquired, looking up to her mother, Laura Barton. She sat up, watching you hold her newborn. Her tired, brown eyes blinked wearily. She nodded in response at first, then she let out a loud yawn.

“Yes,” she spoke mid-yawn. “Natasha has changed this family for the better. She’s done so much for us. I wanted to pass her name down to honor her.”

“You’re so sweet,” you told Laura. Laura and you were perfect friends in high school. Except for the part where you were a freshman and she was a senior. After she graduated, she always kept in touch with you even when people thought your friendship wouldn’t last. 

“There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Laura leaned forward, reaching towards her purse. You stood up and grabbed her purse for her. Laura rummaged through the bag. You swore you saw a phone charger cord tangled with a set of earphones. Her purse was always so messy. She pulled out a sealed card and handed it to you.

Confused, you took the envelope and gave Laura her little Natasha. The newborn continued to sleep in Laura’s arms. You opened the envelope to find a picture of a baby being held by a young woman. Both looked incredibly happy in each other’s company. When you opened the card, you saw a question that filled you with joy and pride. 

‘Will you be my godmother? Love, Natasha’

“You’re serious?” you half-laughed. “You want me to be her godmother?” Laura nodded, smiling in return. 

“Say yes,” her smile filling you with a warmth you only got from her. 

“Yes, of course! I-I would love to!” you said aloud, not realizing your volume. You quickly shut your mouth. You looked to your new godchild, and she still slept peacefully. Both of you chuckled. You wrapped yourself around Laura as much as you could. You thought she would never ask. 

The next day, you helped her and the newborn settle back into the homestead. It was so much larger than the place you live in now. A hall tree had Cooper and Lila’s name in different alcoves. Walls had pictures frames of their family and friends hung all around. The large kitchen had more photos, one including you and Lila playing dress-up. 

“Thank you for helping,” Laura smiled. You kept on looking around. You stood in the kitchen, but your eyes landed in the living room. A matching set of living room chair gathered around with a coffee table in the middle. You remembered when Clint finished it. He called it ‘the fucking coffee table’ because he had previously messed up measurements for it twice. 

You waved Laura off with your hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I did expect Natasha to come around. Where is she?”

“On a mission. That’s all I know,” Laura sighed. You knew exactly what that meant. You weren’t completely blind to what Clint did as a career. You knew exactly who the Avengers were and who Natasha was and who she is now. When the Bartons got the homestead, you felt nothing but relief in your chest knowing that they would be safe from harm.  
Laura wrestled with S.H.I.E.L.D., but they allowed you to have more than an average citizen level of knowledge. You were grateful and Natasha was more than happy to have another girlfriend to talk to. 

“Now that there’s three, will Clint retire?” you asked. It was a touchy subject. Laura supported Clint in everything he did. That didn’t mean that she didn’t worry. Sometimes she would call you at night asking for reassurance or validation that her husband was still alive.

“We’ve talked about it,” she told you in a concerned voice. She tapped her fingers against the counter in the kitchen. She sucked in the bottom of her lip, and you got the hint.

“Well, I’m here to help with anything I can,” you told her, offering a hug. Laura smiled, grateful for the embrace. Sometimes you thought she would go crazy without you, and sometimes you thought about yourself. You squeezed her once more. “Go take a nap. I’ll watch over Natasha and start dinner, yeah?”

Laura nodded and left the room, leaving and your new goddaughter alone. She was fast asleep again in her car seat on the kitchen counter. Pink and yellow blankets covered her. Her coming home outfit had the words “Number One Superbaby” on it. You chose it, hoping Clint and Natasha would welcome the new baby home with smiles on their faces. 

You looked around at the empty and quiet homestead. You should’ve known better. It wasn’t that you loathed Clint’s work. You understood how important he was to the Avengers, but you couldn’t help but feel somewhat angry with him. His new child was home, and he was not here.

You shook your head. Now wasn’t the tie to be angry. You were alone with little Natasha. You unbuckled her from her seat and held her in your arms. In the past 48 hours, she had become   
your favorite thing in the world. You wanted nothing but for her to be happy. 

“It’s you and me, Nat,” you whispered into her ear. “We’re gonna rule this word.”

Meanwhile at the Avengers compound, all was quiet except for two avengers in the kitchen, speaking in soft voices. 

“Congratulations, Barton,” Loki smiled. His gloved hand reached for the drink Clint made for him. He took a sip of the Midgardian alcohol and let the warmth go down his throat. “What did you name her?”

“After Natasha,” Clint responded, a smile growing on his face. “She leaves with me tomorrow to go to the compound. I’ll be spending a lot of time there. Paternity leave if you will.”

“I hope you enjoy it. You deserve the break,” Loki chuckled, more of the warmth travelled down his throat. “After all, it can’t be easy being the oldest among us.”

“You and your brother are thousands of years old.”

“Yes, but we look much better than you,” a cheeky grin flashed at Clint. He rolled his eyes and sighed. His face turning more into a friend than an enemy.

“There is something I wanted to ask you,” Clint inquired. Loki finished his drink and set down the glass. He learned quickly that smashing glasses was not how one asks for another drink.

“Go on.”

“When you became an avenger, most people here were hesitant to give you the time of day. I knew I was. Your brother vouched for you, and I saw the change he spoke about. You are no longer the Loki who destroyed New York. You’re someone different.”

Loki leaned back in his seat, one eyebrow raised. “Thank you, but you did say you had something to ask me.”

“I do,” Clint poured another drink for Loki and slid it to him. “All of my children have figures they look up to. People they can depend on. On Midgard, we call these people ‘godparents’. Someone other than the child’ parents to guide them, raise them, teach them right from wrong. I want to formally ask you if you would consider being a godfather to my new daughter.”

Loki’s mouth hung open. His eyes grew wide. He pointed to himself. 

“Me? You want me to be a godfather to Natasha?” Loki leaned forward, his eyes searching Clint’s. 

“You don’t believe me?”

“I’m not sure if I would be the right person you’re looking for,” Loki confessed. His tone much more quiet than usual. “Thank you, but I cannot accept.”

“You can,” Clint sat back. “I want you to be a part of my child’s life, Loki.”

“Why me?”

“Because I believe you’re better man than you believe yourself to be.” Clint moved from his chair and stepped forward towards Loki. Clint offered his hand to Loki. His arm outstretched and his palm open. Loki took a moment, but he took Clint’s hand and shook it. Clint patted Loki’s back. 

“So, what exactly does a godfather do?” Loki cracked a smile, ready to do his duty.


	2. Chapter 2

Clint Barton dialed his cell while he was alone in his room. He regretted not being there for the birth of his child, but he did what he had to do. He promised Laura over and over that he would retire soon and help raise their children together. That was a constant that never changed. Clint wanted to be a family man, not a superhero.

The phone did not ring for long. Laura greeted him in a warm voice.

“Hey you.”

“Hey you,” Clint smiled. Her voice still brought him butterflies. They flittered around his stomach and brightened his day. “How are you feeling? Tell me everything.”

“She was easier than Cooper, I’ll say that,” Laura chuckled. “But everything went fine. Y/N was there for all of it.”

“She’s a godsend,” Clint said.

“That she is,” Laura glanced downstairs to see Y/N cradling Natasha in her arms. She spoke softly to the baby. “She’s helped with everything and anything she could.”

“We should hire her as a nanny,” Clint responded. “To help you out for a couple of weeks of course.”

“You’re not coming back?”

“I am. It’s just—they need me here,” Clint stumbled over his words. He hated telling Laura bad news. 

“I understand,” Laura said. They’ve had this conversation many times. They’ve had this fight many more times. In the end, both of them lost. “How long can you stay?”

“Two or three weeks,” Clint ran his hand at the back of his throat. “I’ve done all I can.”

“I know. So, Y/N as our nanny huh? Not a bad idea. She could bond with Natasha as her godmother.”

Clint held his breath. He blinked twice. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard you. Can you repeat that?”

“I think having Y/N is a good idea.”

“No, the other part.”

“Bonding with Natasha would be good?”

“That last part.”

“Y/N is Natasha’s godmother?”

“Didn’t we agree that I would pick Natasha’s godparent?” Clint argued. “You picked out the name. I pick the guardian.” Laura gasped and put a hand to her mouth. Her eyes closed and she cussed under her breath.

“We did agree to that,” Laura exhaled. “Did you pick someone?”

“I did. And I already asked him. And he said yes,” Clint glanced outside his room to see Loki reading another Midgardian book. A warm cup of tea sat next to him while he enjoyed the literature.

“Who? Did you ask Tony?”

“No, I actually took your advice. I asked Loki.”

“And he said yes?” Laura raised her voice. Realizing her newborn was just downstairs, Laura went back inside her bedroom. “I can’t believe he said yes. Shit.”

“You have to tell Y/N that Natasha already has a godparent,” Clint argued. 

“No! I’m not doing that to my best friend! After all she’s done? She’s so happy with her. I’m not taking that away from her.”

“You have to. It was my turn,” Clint retreated back in his own room. The door clicked behind him. “We decided this together. You have to take it back.”

“No!” Laura loudly whispered. “You have to tell Loki that he can’t be Natasha’s godfather.”

“What?” Clint reacted. His voice almost loud enough to wake his neighbor. “Do you want me to die?”

“What?” Laura said.

“You want me to anger a god. He could kill me.”

Laura scoffed. “Oh, now he’ll kill you. That thought didn’t occur to you when you ask him to be a guardian for our child?!”

“You’re the one who pushed me to do it!” Clint shouted. He need to pace around. He walked outside his room and paced towards the kitchen again. “You’re the one who believed everyone needs a second chance.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t twist my words around!” Laura heard a soft knock. When she answered it, Y/N stood on the other side, a mug of tea in her hands.

“Is everything ok?” she asked. Laura waved her off. 

“It’s fine. Everything’s fine, go to sleep,” Laura flashed a smile at Y/N and closed the door behind her.

“Was that Y/N? Why didn’t you tell her?” Clint raised his arms in the air.

“I told you. I’m not doing that to my best friend,” Laura rolled her eyes. 

Clint heard soft footsteps behind him. “Is everything alright? I saw you storming out of your room.” 

Clint turned to see Loki who put his empty mug in the sink. There was bags under his eyes, but his book was only halfway finished. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Is it Natasha? Is she alright?” Loki inquired. Clint smiled and nodded.

“Yes, everything went smoothly. She’s fine.” Clint turned away from Loki. Tired and seeing that Clint wanted privacy, Loki exited the kitchen and made a short trek back to his room. 

“Look, I’m not telling Y/N that she can’t be Natasha’s godmother anymore.” Laura’s voice fell flat. Her exhaustion taking over.

“And I’m not telling Loki that he can’t be Natasha’s godfather anymore,” Clint responded. Why don’t we come up with a compromise?”

“Compromise?” 

“We let them both be her godparent. We just don’t tell them,” Clint explained. “It’s not like they’re going to find out, right?”

“Oh, I love you. That’s good. That’s smart,” Laura nodded. Maybe it was the child pushing, maybe it was exhaustion, but Laura Barton agreed to her husband’s half-baked idea.

“Then it’s settled. They don’t know. They’re happy. And we get two babysitters out of the deal.”

“You would let Loki babysit our children?” Laura inquired.

“Okay,” Clint surrendered. “We get one babysitter out of the deal.”


	3. Chapter 3

Years went by after that day and you spent as much time as you could with little Natasha. When Clint couldn’t be there, you often took pictures of his little girl along with Cooper and Lila. You watched her grow up into an adorable child at the age of four. You knew since day one that she was your favorite person, and she continued to be.

Snow fell around you at the airport when you arrived in New York. Your eyes widened at every Christmas decoration you saw. Before you could meet your favorite person, there was another you had to call. You dialed the phone and heard it ring.

“Hey, Mom?”

“You landed!” the voice spoke over the phone. 

“I did! I’m in New York,” you told her. “How are you and Dad? All packed for your cruise?”

“Oh, you bet! I can’t wait to get into that sun!” she paused over the phone. “Thank you honey. This was an amazing gift.”

“You guys deserve it,” you started to tear up a bit. “You gave me everything I ever wanted.”

“We did our best.”

“You are the best,” you glanced ahead to see a certain four year old starting to run to you. “Merry Christmas. Go enjoy yourselves mmkay?”

“Merry Christmas, honey,” you heard your mom say before she hung up the phone. Natasha jumped into your arms before you were even ready. Her tiny hands gripped onto your clothing and dragged you down.

“Nat! Behave!” Laura yelled.

You waved her off and embraced your only godchild. “She’s fine.”

“How was the flight?” Laura asked.

“It could have been better,” you admitted. “I could have been in a private jet.” You winked at Laura. She shook her head.

“You know those privileges aren’t for everyone.”

“Y/N! Y/N!” Natasha called out to you. She put her new cat paw mittens in your face. “I got paws!”

“You do! I love them! And they’re your favorite color!” You smiled in her face, showing the same enthusiasm. You took her mitten hand and exited the airport.

“So this new headquarters, tell me about it.” Your face changed from excited to concern in seconds. Laura sensed the unease.

“It’s safe. Tony built it after Ultron. He wanted to model it after the farmhouse.”

“And?” you knew there was more to it than that. There had to be a reason you were celebrating Christmas here instead of at the farmhouse.

“There’s been some red flags recently,” Laura said quietly, so Natasha couldn’t hear. Her little eyes were entranced with all of the decorations. “Clint thought it would be safer for us to just celebrate here. Just in case.”

“Red flags?”

“Security breaches, weird activity. Clint wants to be safe. Besides, I think Cooper and Lila are enjoying spending time with the Avengers.”

Although Clint never bragged about it, but there was plenty of perks that came with his job. Getting a high security escort to the new headquarters was one of them. The ride was easy, filled with little to no traffic, and you found yourself walking inside the headquarters with your luggage trailing behind you.

“Y/N!” Natasha tugged at your side. She pointed towards the majestic Christmas tree that stood proudly right next to the snow covered window. Each ornament was carefully placed and polished. You had never seen something so festive. Lights were strung inside and outside. A fire roared in the fireplace while you smelled gingerbread. You may be spending time away from family this Christmas, but you felt right at home.

“Put my gifts over there, ok?” she ordered you to do. You chuckled.

“I promise, I will.”

“You spoil her.” Laura rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t have any kids of my own,” you retorted. “She’s the best I got.”

“Speaking of futures,” Laura took your luggage and guided you deeper inside the headquarters. “What happened with Matt?” 

You groaned and sighed. “I’m done.”

“Like done done? It’s over?”

“Very over,” you sighed. “As soon as I moved in with him, all he did was freeload off of me. He took advantage of the promotion and just did nothing.”

“I thought he had a job?” Laura turned both of you down a hallway. 

“He did. He quit.”

“Are you serious? Because of the promotion?”

“I bought him everything. Paid his bills. It was too much. I dumped him and moved out after Halloween.” Laura came to a stop in front of a metal door that unlocked with a key card. The room was more spacious than you imagined. The queen sized bed was neatly made. A sofa and a coffee table were placed in front of a large glass screen. Your view was the snow covered land surrounding the compound. 

To the right, a full bathroom waited for you to use. To the left, stood another smaller Christmas tree all decked out for the holidays. Laura embraced you.

“I’m really sorry,” she apologized. “I just thought that old sparks would fly if I arranged you guys together.” You shook your head and pulled away from the hug.

“Honestly, a lot of things changed after the promotion. Don’t blame yourself on Matt. I just want to spend Christmas with my favorite kids.” Your eyes searched around. “Where is Cooper and Lila?”

Laura closed her eyes and chuckled. “Turns out, Tony is quite the entertainer. They’re both playing with new technology he invented.” You turned to Natasha who looked back up to you. Her brown eyes so round and big.

“At least, I have my favorite right here huh?” you tickled her at her sides. Natasha giggled and tried to push you away. Your hands grabbed her and picked her up in the air. You ears were more than delighted to hear her joyous laughter. You placed a kiss on her head and set her down.

“Come on, you,” Laura reached out to her youngest. “Let’s give Y/N to settle in, yeah? And then, the Polar Express!” Natasha let out a squeal of joy. You couldn’t help but to smile, and you waved a goodbye as the door slid and locked.

You turned to your luggage and let out a raspberry. Holidays were a joy to spend with friends and family. Digging through your luggage to find an outfit for tonight was not a joy. 

After a good warm shower, a warm outfit, and a cup of thick and cold eggnog, you sat with Natasha in the enormous living room. She carefully counted each gold ornament she could find which, at the moment, was a solid eleven, but she skipped the number nine. Laura came to sit next to you. Her mug filled with hot chocolate and something else that Natasha couldn’t have.

“Thank you for coming,” she told you.

“Thank you for inviting me.” You rubbed her knee, giving her the same warmth back. “I was scared that I was going to be myself this Chirstmas.”

“I would never let that happen.” Laura took a sip of her concoction. “How long do you think you’ll stay?”

“I have to be back at work a couple days after the New Year’s.” Natasha jumped down from your lap and played with her toys. “But for now, I’m all yours.” You heard a jingle from Laura’s phone. She smiled, but soon it faded.

“Everything ok?” 

Laura forced a smile. “Everything’s fine! Clint’s on his way. That’s all.” You blinked and paused for a moment. You never questioned Laura for much. After all, Clint had spent much of his career hunting down murderers, aliens, and sometimes both. Some days you looked around and thought about how crazy everything had been. 

Clint strolled in with a tall, black-haired man wearing formal clothing. He turned his face and you immediately recognized his green eyes.

Loki.

“Wait, Laura, hold on,” you almost said all at once. “That’s him.”

“Yes, I know, Y/N,” Laura responded. “Listen, there’s something you should know before—

“Hey!” you called out to him. Clint and Loki turned around. Loki wrinkled his nose at you, but Clint was all hugs.

“Y/N! Look at you! You look—

“You!” you pointed at Loki, pushing past Clint. “You’re responsible for New York.”

“Ah, another fan,” Loki smirked. You crossed your arms and stared him down.

“If you think I’m a fan of yours, you’ve got another thing coming,” you looked at Clint. “What’s he doing here? Isn’t he a criminal?”

“Not anymore,” Clint smiled at Loki. “With the permission of S.H.I.E.L.D., Nick Fury, Thor and others, Loki is being rehabilitated to be a productive member of the Avengers. He’s on our side now.” Loki smugly smiled down at you, but you still wouldn’t trust Clint’s words. 

“Well, we have places to be, right Natasha?” you looked down to where she was, and she was gone from her spot on the carpet with her toys. Your eyes followed her path to see little Natasha at Loki’s leg. She tugged at his pants.

“Loki, up up!” she said to him. He warmly smiled and picked her up, holding her at his hip.

“What?” you responded. “What is happening?” You turned to see Laura with her face in her hands.

“Loki is Natasha’s godfather,” Clint smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Laura groaned and spoke a few quiet words into Clint’s ear. His smiled faded into a frown and he turned to his wife. He mumbled, but you could make out, “What do you mean she didn’t know?”

You turned to see your goddaughter playing with Loki’s long hair. She giggled with him and he looked like he genuinely enjoyed her company. You, on the other hand, were furious. You took your friends aside.

“What is this? Is this some joke?” you tried to keep your voice down.

“I thought you knew!” Clint defended himself. 

“Y/N, I was going to tell you when the time was right,” Laura interjected.

“When Thor brought him here I felt the same way,” Clint started to explain. “After all, he manipulated me. Then I saw all the good he could do for us. Thor assured me over and over again. It took a lot of convincing, but when Natasha was born it just seemed right.

“Laura was not on board at first either, but then she saw him with her. Holding her, helping her sleep, teaching her right from wrong. Loki is a much better being than most people take him as,” Clint looked back over to Loki and Natasha. He still held her while talking to her and wiggling her nose. “I didn’t want him to miss out on such a great Christmas tradition with you guys.”

“He’s coming with us?!” you exclaimed. “You’re kidding me right? Please tell me you’re kidding.” Clint and Laura almost cringed, but said nothing. You groaned into the air. You wanted to punch them both, but you didn’t feel like wasting your energy.

The next thing you knew you, Natasha, and Loki were dropped off in New York City with Laura leaving you with Natasha’s ‘handybag’. It contained all of her essentials: an extra set of pajamas, snacks, drinks, her favorite toy, and other items Laura knew she would need.

You swung the bag over your shoulder, and glanced over at Loki and Natasha. Loki pointed at different objects and Natasha identified them. It still baffled you that Clint and Laura named him, a mass murder and evil mastermind, as Nat’s godfather. 

“Look, I know this isn’t ideal,” Laura sighed. 

“Ya think?” you reacted. “Laura why? Just tell me why. What made you think this was a good idea?”

“We wanted godparents for her, and Clint was in a forgiving mood. I had to admit Clint was right. Second chances are possible. Besides, look at Natasha.”

You looked over to the pair again. Natasha was wiggling in his arms while Loki tried to fix her coat, and then her hat, and then her gloves, making sure she was head to toe covered. You had to admit you felt a slight pang of jealousy that Natasha loved her paternal godparent as much as she loved you.

“She’s so happy with him,” Laura said. “Do this one evening for her, okay? Please?” You couldn’t refuse your high school best friend. You sighed and nodded your head.

“I’ll do my best. Now go back home, ok?” 

“Call me if something goes wrong,” Laura left you three by yourselves in the middle of New York City. You couldn’t go through this evening in silence. You had to communicate with the god of lies.

“So, I was thinking we could take this street right here and walk there for about four blocks. We’ll get there right on time,” you showed him Google Maps on your phone.

“Oh, we’re talking now?” he said. You glared at him.

“Yes, we’re talking now.”

“How wonderful, I’ll inform Laura and Clint. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled of our new friendship.”

“We’re not friends.”

“Careful, the little one is listening,” Loki’s eyes pointed downwards to Natasha who was, in fact, listening to you.

“You don’t like Loki?” she asked.

“No! That’s not true. We’re friends!” you grabbed Loki and pulled him closer to you. “See? Friends.” Natasha smiled, satisfied with what she’s seeing.

“Now, we don’t have to walk all that way,” Loki said. “I could teleport us there, and we could be there much earlier.

“You could wha—

Green magic surrounded all three of you. Terrified of what he was doing, you grabbed Natasha and brought her close to you. You wrapped her in your arms, hoping she wouldn’t cry because of the sudden surprise. Natasha started to giggle and her hands grabbed the green air, trying to grab onto the magic itself. The green air disappeared as quickly as it came. 

The Polar Express event was crowded with families and friends alike. The area was filled with Christmas themed activities and refreshments. The train itself was steaming from the top and had hand-lettered ‘The Polar Express’ in gold. The red siding was decorated with gold trimmings and you could see the inside. It had comfortable seating and some families already sat inside.

“Loki!” you said. “What the hell was that?” You turned to him to see he changed into more casual clothing. He had jeans, and a sweater peeking through a slim winter jacket. His hair was tied back in bun.

“Magic,” he rolled his eyes. “We should check in early, so we can settle her in.” Loki started to walk towards the check in booth.

“Oh no, you’re not going to get away with this. What were you thinking? You could’ve hurt her!”

“But I didn’t.”

“You could’ve brought unwanted attention.”

“But I didn’t,” Loki kept walking to the booth.

“Are you kidding me? You can’t just do magic and—

Loki gestured to Nat. Her eyes were wide and looking at the train. Her smile lit up her face like a Christmas tree. Her hand was loose in Loki’s hand. She leaned towards the train. She was just fine. “You’re making mountains out of molehills. You don’t have to like me, but will you at least make this a good time for her?”

Loki was right. Laura did ask you that, and you were making mountains out of molehills. Natasha was fine. If anything, she was in holiday euphoria. You closed your mouth and checked in with your tickets. With the extra time, Loki and you worked in mostly silence to settle in your train seats. 

They were comfortable to say the least. They had the exact colors from the movie, and tables in between them. Loki let you and Natasha sit next to each other while he sat by himself on the other side. Natasha was comfy in her new Christmas pajamas, and she tapped on the glass windows. 

“Good evening,” a server came by your table. “My name is Mary, what can I get you tonight?”

“Coffee will be fine, and a hot chocolate for her,” you said. 

“I’ll take the same,” Loki said, waving the server off. You rolled your eyes. He may have been actual royalty. He may have been an actual god, but his treatment of other people disgusted you. 

“Loki! Can you make it snow?” Natasha asked. She was bouncing up and down in her seat. Loki chuckled. 

“As long as it’s alright with Y/N,” he looked to you for permission. Natasha turned to you and tugged at your sweater sleeve for a moment. 

“Please? Please please?” she asked. You nodded in hesitation. Natasha looked up and grabbed at the snow that was falling just over your seats. It touched your face, and it felt cold.

This was real snow.

It gently fell over your hair and face. Natasha grabbed at it and held her hands out in front of her. Loki smiled at little Nat enjoying her happiness. He adored her. It was endearing to see a man care so much for someone so little. Your mind flashed back to the Avengers facility when Nat grabbed onto his leg. She must feel so safe next to him. Perhaps he couldn’t be as bad as you were making him out to be.

“The train will leave in five minutes!” A worker said. “Five minutes!” A server came by to drop off your coffee.

“Oh, and we had a hot chocolate,” you mentioned.

“I know,’ the server smiled. “Her hot chocolate is a part of the show.” You sat back slightly curious and excited. 

“When did they ask you to be the godmother?” Loki asked, sipping his warm coffee. 

“Oh, well. Nothing special really. I was there when Laura had her, and she named me godmother on the spot.” Loki’s face looked discouraged. You started to stammer. “Well, I mean I’ve known Laura much longer than you have known them. I didn’t mean—

“Oh, I knew what you mean by that,” Loki stopped the illusion and narrowed his eyebrows. There he was. The man you knew him as. The nasty, impulsive man. He crossed his arms in the seat and glared at you. Maybe you were right. Maybe he just cared about making Nat happy and nothing more. He only served his own needs.

Lights blinked on and off to signal that the show was starting soon. Natasha cuddled up to your lap where she looked towards the doors and waited. Colored lights started to fade on the ceiling of the train. As soon everyone was seated, the train left the station. 

A drum beat started mimicking the beat of the train. Then, actors came out and sang a welcome song to the Polar Express. Then, the conductor came up to Natasha.

“Hello, Natasha,” he greeted with a large smile. Natasha gasped.

“You know my name?” she asked. The conductor nodded and took her ticket. He then punched holes in her ticket so quickly, you wondered if he was Tom Hanks himself. You saw her golden ticket had a single letter in it. 

“V?” you said out loud. “I wonder what your word will be.” You squeezed her sides again, and she let out a laugh. Her eyes were mainly on her ticket.

“Her word?” Loki asked in an aggressively bored tone.

“Now, who’s giving her a bad time?” you snapped back. “In the movie, each child character has a train ticket where they get a word punched into their ticket. Usually the word teaches them a lesson about Christmas.” Loki hummed, a smile formed on his face.

“I understand now,” Loki looked to Nat. “What do you think your word will be?” Nat thought for a moment and gasped.

“Hot chocolate!” she shrieked. Loki laughed. His chuckle was dark, but his green eyes said it all. You found yourself lingering before you knew it.

“Silly girl, there’s no ‘v’ in hot chocolate,” Loki’s laughter continued and you found yourself smiling with him.

“No! Hot chocolate!” Nat pointed out actors coming in with trays filled with golden cups and pitchers. One actors spun around and skillfully set down a golden mug just for Nat. The hot, steaming chocolate poured into the mug and whipped cream went in endless circles until it looked perfect.

Suddenly, you and Loki wondered why you even ordered coffee in the first place.

“That looks delicious,” Loki stared at it. “What is it?”

“You don’t have hot chocolate where you’re from?” Loki shook his head and leaned forward to investigate the drink more. “It’s not dangerous you know. It’s warmed milk with chocolate mixed in.”

You watched Loki copy the drink for himself, and he took a taste. His eyes closed and he let out a low hum. “You should really try this,” he said, and he slid the drink to you. Nat was already drinking hers. You wanted to second guess this kind gesture, but you couldn’t come up with a good reason. 

You took a sip, and you regretted your coffee immediately. The smooth rich chocolate slid down your throat and warmed your stomach. “Wow.”

“I know,” Loki smiled. “I wish I had known about this before. I’m starting to believe you Midgardians are not as useless as I thought.” You half-laughed at his joke, thinking back to the Incident when he almost took over.

Soon, more characters came out and reenacted some scenes from the Polar Express. Natasha enjoyed every minute of it. You watched her eyes widen, and her whole body bounce up and down. She spoke and interacted with the characters.

“Are you having fun?” you asked her.

“Yes!” both of her arms swung into the air. Loki and you shared another laugh. This time he noticed and gave you a half-smile.

The conductor came out onto your car and announced that they will be arriving at the North Pole soon. More actors staged themselves with families. Each of them had the book in their hands. Natasha cuddled into your arms, and you looked over at Loki who looked on slightly dejected.

“Nattie,” you nudged her. She looked up to you. “Why don’t you go sit with Loki?” Loki looked at you, confused. Nat leaped from your lap and quickly climbed into Loki’s. He wrapped his arms around her and the actor began to read the story. 

Natasha rested her little head against Loki’s chest. He petted her brown curls gently, and allowed himself to relax. Again, you found yourself lingering. You were about to look away until you saw Loki looking back at you.

‘Thank you,” he mouthed. You nodded your head. Loki was her godfather too. He deserved to have little moments like this, right? As soon as they finished the book, the train stopped. Natasha looked up to Loki in excitement. He let her go, and she put her face against the glass window.

“It’s the North Pole!” she gleefully shouted. Other children put their faces against the window too, enjoying the view. The whole place was lit by Christmas lights and lampposts. You could see a Santa’s workshop along with several booths filled with cookies, prizes, and one large sleigh with eight reindeer attached to it. Loki looked on mostly confused. 

“Is this your first Christmas?” you asked him. Natasha dragged both of you out of your seats and towards the exit.

“No, but I still don’t understand many of your traditions,’ he admitted. “Particularly the legend of Santa Claus.” He lowered his voice in a whisper. 

“Later,’ you patted his back. “I can explain that one later.” As soon as you all stepped off the train, Natasha took off like a bullet towards Santa Claus who sat in the giant red sleigh, his bag filled with toys. Loki and you chased after and attempted to catch her, but it was too late. She stood in line away from you both, waiting to see Santa without her jacket.

Loki sighed. “Well, at least we tried.”

“You said it,” you added. Loki stepped closer to you.

“I wanted to thank you again for what you did back there,” he told you. “That was very generous of you, but may I ask why you did it?”

“You were right,” you said. “We both want Natasha to have a good time, but we both want to create memories with her. You’re her godparent too. I can’t have her all to myself. That just wouldn’t be fair to you, and I promised Laura that I would try to be nice.” You shrugged, hoping that would be a good enough explanation. Loki gave you another half-smile.

“Thank you,” he said. “It meant a lot to me.” 

“You’re welcome.” You felt a shiver grow up your spine and your body shook vigorously.

“Are you cold?” Loki asked. You waved him off.

“No, I’m fine,” you said, but Loki didn’t listen. He put his jacket over you and rubbed your back. 

“Why is it that Midgardian women get so cold? Do you all have an affliction against colder weather?” 

“Yes and no,” you chuckled. “We love colder weather because of all the activities that come with it, but we hate dealing with the actual weather.”

“That makes zero sense,” Loki laughed. “What about this legend of Santa?” You turned towards him and leaned forward, so no other children could hear.

“Oh! So, it actually goes back to a man named St, Nicholas—

Natasha runs up to both of you, holding up her silver sleigh bell. “Look! Look! Look!”

Both of you bend down to her level and examine her new gift.

“It’s beautiful, Nat,” you told her. “Now, what does it mean?”

“That I promise to always and forever believe in Santa,” she proudly said. 

“Right, because?” you led her on.

“Because believing is seeing,” she smiled. “Believing is important.” Loki nodded sharply.

“That’s right. And what did you ask Santa for this year?” Loki asked. 

“I want a bow like Daddy has,” Natasha said completely deadpan. Loki and you shared a look. 

“We’ll see what we can do about that,” Loki picked her up. “So, what do we do next, little one?” The rest of evening Loki, Nat, and you spent time playing games, riding candy cane slides, and even making an ornament to take home. You noticed Loki’s lingering looks as much as he noticed yours.

Nat placed herself in between both of you and held your hands as if you two were her true parents. You both swung her back and forth and watched her giggle as she flew into the air. You wondered for a moment if this is what it would be like if you married Loki and had a child.

You brushed that thought away before he could notice.

Soon, the conductor was calling for the final “all aboard”. Nat wanted to sit next to both of you. So, you all squeezed into one side of the booth. Exhausted from all of the fun she had, Nat drifted off to sleep. Her body curled up into Loki’s arms. He petted her head once again, but this time you watched small green sparks fly around her head.

“It’s a sleep spell,” Loki explained. “I noticed lately that she has trouble sleeping, so this is how I get her to stay asleep.”

“That’s…actually really thoughtful of you,” you said. Mary, your server, was handing out checks when she came to your table. 

“Hi guys, thank you so much for coming,” she whispered. “Here’s the check. Aw! Is she all tuckered out?” Both of you nodded. She placed the check down on the table. The conductor came up to the table as well. Noticing the tired little one, you handed Nat’s ticket to the conductor. He started to punch the ticket.

“Thank you,” Loki said and then he turned to you. “I’ll take care of it. You bought the tickets.” Mary took Loki’s card and the check.

“I’m sorry,” she smiled. “Can I just say that your daughter is the cutest girl I’ve seen tonight? She really warmed my heart. You both are wonderful parents for raising such a kind girl.” You felt red rush to your cheeks faster than you ever did before.

“She’s not—We’re not—I—uhm,” you stammered out.

“W-we’re not together,” Loki tried to explain. “She’s our goddaughter.” Mary’s hands went to her mouth.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she immediately apologized. “You guys just look so perfect together, you know? Like a happy family. But I’m so sorry for assuming.” Mary walked away, cringing to herself. The conductor smiled at you both shamelessly and handed you back Nat’s ticket. You read the word “love”. Loki and you didn’t look or speak to each other for a solid minute until he broke the silence.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I would understand if your boyfriend is angry or anything.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you told him.

“Oh,” Loki reacted.

“Oh? What’s that supposed to mean?” you turned to him.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Loki shook his head. “I just mean that’s very surprising. You have you life together, you’re kind, and wonderful company. You’re also very attractive,” Loki trailed off. You felt your heart beating faster, and you couldn’t find the correct words to respond to that. You looked to see Nat still sleeping on him.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” you asked, changing the subject.

“I do,” Loki nodded. “I wish she could stay this way.” He petted her head again. His fingers untangled her curls. By the time the train stopped and you both exited the train, you felt sad that this was all over with. 

“Loki, I just want to thank you for a good time,” you shifted Nat’s bag on your shoulder. 

“Likewise,” Loki responded and handed you a sleeping Nat. You held onto her while Loki teleported both of you again to the front of the Avengers Facility. “Don’t tell Laura we did that. She doesn’t like it when I teleport her children either.”

You half-laughed and nodded. “I won’t say a thing.” You walked inside the facility and noticed it was dim and quiet. 

“I’m going to tuck this one into bed,” you explained. Your head turned towards little Nat’s room.

“Thank you, again. Spending time with her means a lot to me,” Loki confessed. 

“”Me too,” you agreed. “Maybe that ticket wasn’t for her after all.”

Loki smiled at you, understanding what you mean. “Maybe.” 

“Good night, Loki,” you cuddled Nat in your arms just a little tighter and walked away from Loki. You wondered what tomorrow held for both of you.


	5. Chapter 5

Christmas Eve morning felt bittersweet. Your parents were finally away on a cruise they deserved, and you were without them. You were spending Christmas with the Avengers. Something you’d never thought would happen. Something you’d never thought of actually saying aloud. 

When you awoke, others were also awake. The smell of pancakes wafted into your nose like a pleasant good morning. You wrapped yourself in a warm sweater and kept on your pajama pants. Your feet shuffled outside your room to see the Christmas scene unfold before you. 

Wanda and Vision were in the kitchen. While Wanda kindly stacked jacks high for Sam Wilson who grinned to see how fat the stack was. Vision perfectly poured, flipped, and cooked the pancake breakfast. When you came closer, you noticed the other plates of bacon, sausage, and bowl of hot scrambled eggs. Vision knew how to cook, but then again, Vision was also part robot.

Beyond the kitchen, you watched Steve and Tony both enjoy a straight black cup of coffee while looking out onto the compound. You slightly listened to Steve tell Tony all about Christmas during World War II. A light reignited in Steve’s eyes with every memory he shared. Sam walked over and joined in on listening as he ate his pancakes.

On the first couch sat Clint and Laura sitting together smiling at you when you walked in. They each had on pajamas much like you and everyone else. In the middle of the ground, Thor shared Asgardian traditions with Clint’s first two children. Cooper, the eldest, seemed too interested in the hunting aspects of Thor’s tales. 

Your eye carried over to Natasha and Dr. Bruce Banner actually sitting down and enjoying the meal and each other’s company. Bruce passed over the plate of scrambled eggs to her when he accidentally knocked over his spoon. He went to go pick it up only to be met with a knock to the head. His hand rubbed against the sore spot while Natasha laughed to herself. You almost laughed too, until you saw the tree.

Little Natasha smiled and giggled in Loki’s lap. He would point to an ornament, and she would point the same direction except with more energy. Loki wore a pair of sweatpants with a t-shirt. Something you thought was below his standards. That’s when you saw little Natasha wearing a similar outfit. Ah, matching outfits.

You knelt beside them without saying anything.

“That one Y/N gave me! She said it was important that I put it on the tree,” little Natasha insisted.

“And why’s that?” Loki asked. 

“Because she says it protects me. Cooper and Lila have them too,” You looked to the tree and saw your homemade ornaments. Runes craved into small pieces of wood dangled from the branches of the tree. 

“What does it protect you from?” Loki asked again.

“Monsters,” you said, surprising the god next to you. “Under the bed monsters mostly.” You laughed when you watched your goddaughter nod her head vigorously. 

“It does!” she insisted. Loki turned to you and smiled.

“I wonder if Y/N, Protector of Monsters is hungry,” Loki hinted. You grabbed your belly and mocked a low voice.

“The Protector of Monster requires sustenance,” you started to ‘hunt’ Natasha. She gasped and hid her face from you. Loki held her tighter.

“Oh no! The Protector of Monsters is going to eat you!” He warned her. Your fingers reached for her plump stomach and tickled until she cried out.

“Stop! Stop! I can’t breathe!” She continued to giggle well after you stopped. After breakfast and a day filled with playing with the Barton children, you found yourself tucked away in a corner watching the snow fall. 

“So, tell me more of this tradition with Santa Claus,” Loki interrupted your silent weather watching. 

“What would you like to know?” you smiled. Before your eyes, Loki conjured up two mugs filled with hot chocolate. He handed one to you and sat across from you.

“Natasha refused to stay up with me. She said she needed to be asleep or else Santa won’t come,” Loki sighed.

“Santa doesn’t come unless the children are in bed, dreaming of sugar plums. Just another way to get the children to fall asleep before Christmas.”

“Ah, that was simple,” Loki chuckled. “I thought the answer was more complicated than that.” You shook your head.

“Santa Claus is meant to delight children, not confuse them. Besides, you’re just learning this now. Is this your first Christmas on Earth?”

“Midgard. And yes, it is,” Loki sighed. 

“Midgard?”

“That’s what this is. The middle realm. Midgard.”

“No, this is Earth,” you argued. Loki rolled his eyes.

 

“I’ve made that point to mostly everyone here, and you all say the same thing. I’m not going to have this argument again.”

“Which is what exactly?” 

“Midgard is your real name. It has been the name for this realm before you were born. You call it Earth because that’s what you’ve been taught.” You shrugged.

“I’m from here. I call it Earth,” you smiled. Loki shook it off and sipped at the hot chocolate in his hands. You did the same. The hot, sweet liquid glided itself down your throat and into your stomach giving you a warming sensation. You heard Loki make another sound and you looked back up to him. He hesitated, but spoke anyways.

“I wanted to thank you again for yesterday,” Loki spoke softly, so only you could hear him. 

“I know. You told me that yesterday. You don’t have to thank me again,” you replied.

“I know, but I had a good time. I hadn’t had good time in a while. It felt nice. Besides, my brother wants me to express my gratitude more often.”

“Is your brother your therapist?” you joked. Loki smiled.

“No, but he is in charge of me while I spend my punishment here.”

“So, exile?”

“More like reforming and community service,” Loki looked out the window, watching the snow fall with you.

“Do you like it here?” Loki shook his head.

“For the first year there wasn’t much to make me happy. I didn’t expect to be, but Thor advocated for me to be here and not in exile or rotting away, so I had to be grateful. When Clint offered me to be Natasha’s godfather, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t think I deserved to play such a role in a child’s life much less Clint’s child. I was nervous when I first held her. She was so small. I felt like she really depended on me.

“The more time I get to be with her, the more I feel like I’m worthy of something,” Loki told you. You felt your heart swelling up. Never had a man sat in front of you and told you that children changed them. You thought about yourself for a moment. Natasha had changed both of your lives.

“I think I had you pegged wrong,” you confessed to him. Loki tilted his head.

“Pegged wrong?”

“I assumed the wrong things about you,” you explained. “I thought you would still want to control us.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I still think you mortals are stupid and crave leadership. I could still make that happen. I could take over all of you.”

“You could?” you said with more fear than you wanted to show.

Loki chuckled. “You should see your face!”

You quickly reacted to his laughter with a grave frown. “I don’t have very fond memories of that day, so forgive me if I don’t laugh.”

Loki stopped his laughter and set down his mug. “I’m sorry for any harm I caused you. Did anyone die? Your parents? A friend?”

“No, no one died. One thing happened to me.”

“What happened?” 

“I don’t like to talk about it,” you sighed. 

“Well, I apologize,” Loki frowned. “Whatever happened consider it my fault.” A silence fell over both of you. The snow continued to fall outside. The serene stillness enchanted you. Most adults didn’t believe in Santa or that Christmas magic anymore, but you did. Your heart almost raced when you thought of Santa and his sleigh just above your head. 

You looked over at Loki who looked over to you at the same time. A rush of color found your cheeks as you quickly looked away.

“Sorry, I only meant to,” you started, but didn’t finish. 

“It’s alright,” Loki stood up. “I was actually above to go to bed for the night. It is Christmas tomorrow. Santa won’t come if you’re not to bed soon.” You chuckled.

“You’re right. I guess that’s my cue.” You remembered the mug in your hands. “Thank you for this by the way.” With a snap of fingers, the mug disappeared from your hands. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was my first time making it.”

“You did a wonderful job,” you smiled at him. Loki nodded and started to walk away from you. 

“Good night again, Y/N.”

“Good night,” you answered back. You felt your heart swell again. You wanted to tell your heart to shut up. That it was only Christmas and you were feeling sentimental and filled with joy. That you had met Loki days ago and Loki was a villain. But still, your heart swelled anyways and you let it swell in your chest. The warmth of Loki’s behavior keep you cozy in bed that night.


	6. Chapter 6

“Open it!” Laura told you. She wore her matching pajamas with the rest of the family. Her hair was wild, and she barely had one cup of coffee. You wanted to tell your best friend that she looked like the definition of ‘Monday Morning’, but it was Christmas. You don’t say things like that on Christmas. 

You opened the small box to reveal a tarot deck. The smooth black matte box matched the deck. Gold lettering and design stood against the black background.

“A tarot deck?”

“To help you with…you know,” Laura gave you a half-smile.

You wrapped your arms around her and squeezed her tight. “Thank you. It’s perfect.” Laura joined in on the hug with as much energy as she could. When you separated, you handed over your gift to her. She gave you her mug of coffee to open the envelope. Inside of it, two tickets to a Broadway musical.

“What? You’re kidding,” Laura gasped. You watched her eyes go from tired to so-excited-she-could-cry. Her hands were tickled with excitement. 

“If you go over to your husband, he has the second half of this gift,” you told her. Laura gasped again and looked over to her husband. Clint held up the second envelope and waved it at her. She turned sharply to you.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” her smile kept on growing.

“No, but he did,” you winked at her. You watched your best friend race to her love. She opened the envelope to squeal again. She held up the flight tickets and hotel reservations. She kissed Clint and giggled like a schoolgirl. 

“Merry Christmas,” Loki bumped a box into the side of your arm. Your face dropped, looking mortified. Loki’s usual sly smile changed. “Is there something wrong? I thought gift-giving was a tradition on this holiday.”

“I didn’t get you anything,” you replied, looking ashamed. You two had met days ago, and here he was holding a gift for you. You felt embarrassed mostly, but also impressed that he had a gift for you. 

“I know. Wait—I didn’t mean I know like that. I only meant—what I was trying to say. I am sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Something happened to you on the day that I attacked. I laughed at your pain which deeply offended you. I wanted to say that I was-am sorry.” Loki badly said. You narrowed your eyes at the god, thinking this could be a trick. You took the neatly wrapped gift and opened it for yourself. No tricks. No jokes. But a book in your hands. The cover was made of leather and Nordic runes craved into the spine. The pages were thick and yellowed, but no writing held within them. 

“A journal?” 

“I thought you might like to let your thoughts run on paper rather than letting them rot your head,” Loki commented. 

“That’s very sweet of you,” you commented, still feeling awkward with the gift. You shifted your weight, but said nothing more. Loki took the hint harsher than you wanted him to.

“I see,” he began. “I’m not exactly wanted here. I do hope you enjoy your gift.” Before you could protest, Loki disappeared in one smooth move. For a moment, you thought you were speaking to a clone rather than the real him. Shaking it off, you set the journal among your things in your room. 

Suddenly, your phone rang. Answering it, you heard your mom’s voice along with the waves of the ocean.

“Hi honey!” she shouted over the phone. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart!” you heard your dad say. 

“Merry Christmas to both of you.”

“We miss you and love you!” your mom shouted again. 

“I love you guys too,” you said, feeling more emotional than you wanted to admit.

“Our gifts should arrive to your place when you get back home,” your mom instructed. 

“Thank you, mom,” you smiled. Her voice still as comforting to you now. 

“I won’t keep you. Tell Laura we said hi and we love her!”

“And Clint!” your dad added on. After chuckling, you nodded and then told your mother a solid ‘of course’ and then hung up the phone. You looked at your things, still feeling bittersweet at a Christmas without family. And without a boyfriend. 

You reminded yourself of Laura, Clint, and the kids and went back to the living room to join the fun. Cooper played with his new drone with Tony and Clint outside. Lila quietly read her new books to herself, enjoying her quiet time. Natasha held her new bunny tight to her body as she watched cartoons on the television. You sat next to Laura who looked more put together now as she enjoyed her afternoon coffee.

“I saw you and Loki talking. Are you two getting along?” she asked you. You cringed earning you a sigh from Laura.

“Before you say anything, it was just really awkward.”

“What was awkward?”

“Loki made a joke at my expense about The Incident,” you explained. Laura sat up, fully listening to you. “He apologized and took the joke back. He asked if anyone I knew died. I told him no, but one thing happened to me.”

“Did you tell him what happened?” Laura asked. You shook your head.

“I told him I didn’t want to talk about it. Besides, it’s not his business to know what happened or what I do now. Anyways, today he gave me a journal as an apology. It just felt weird.”

Laura made a face. “He gave you a journal? Weird. Did he say why?”

“To let my thoughts run on paper instead of letting them rot in my head,” you tried mocking his low voice. “I thought it was a nice intention.”

“It is,” Laura agreed. Her eyes flickered to outside where her son was. Tony was already modifying the drone. Laura rolled her eyes and faced you. “You shouldn’t worry about it. Just a gift. You leave tomorrow for home and you won’t see him again.”

“Yeah,” you said almost absently. The thought of home, your job, your apartment, your bed delighted you for a moment. It wasn’t that you didn’t like spending time with the Avengers. It was only you wanted the comfort of home and away from the god of lies. Loki had been nothing but nice to you these past couple of days, maybe a little cheeky, but he was nice. It was clear the reformation from villain to hero was working for him.

You watched Loki gently sit down next to Natasha and ask her questions about the cartoons on the screen. He had destroyed New York and left its carcass to rot. He had sworn to all humanity to rule them all mercilessly. Yet, here he was, sitting next to a four year old girl and her bunny at the mercy of her company.

It was confusing to watch and digest. 

As the night continued on, the Barton children soon grew tired of their exciting day. As did the adults. You caught Clint carrying a drunk Laura to bed. Wanda and Vison sat together enjoying each other’s company and the fire. A pang struck in your heart. You wished your previous relationship didn’t end so badly and right before the holidays. To avoid any more hurt, you quietly packed in your room, leaving the door ajar. Your clothes, toiletries, and other personal items all packed away in a suitcase. You heard a small knock on the door.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Loki said, cradling a very tired Natasha. “I heard you’re leaving tomorrow. I wanted to wish you safe travels.”

“Thank you,” you nodded. Before another awkward silence began, you spoke. “I really did have a good time with you on the train. I hadn’t been out like that in a while.”

“I believe you told me that you didn’t have a boyfriend,” Loki pointed out. “But I also believe there’s more to that than what you previously told me.”

“There is,” you chuckled. “Matt was good guy until we moved in together. He took advantage of me and my job and lived life on his own terms.” Loki furrowed his brow.

“His own terms?”

“He quit his job and lived life luxuriously while I paid for everything. New phone. New car. New friends. He didn’t care for me anymore. Only what kind of champagne he brought to parties.” You looked down and pouted. The pain still hurt. “I broke up with him and moved out after Halloween. It’s been lonely since then.”

“I apologize,” Loki also looked down to his feet. “You don’t have to go tomorrow. You can stay. Unless you’re needed elsewhere?”

“My job is demanding. Ever since the promotion, I’m given a lot of responsibility. I really do have to leave tomorrow.”

Loki shifted his weight and Natasha in his arms. “I understand. I really do hope you have safe travels. Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Loki,” you nodded. 

The morning flight was busy, terrible, and crowded, but the drive home was everything you wanted. The presence of the thick snow outside. The smell of pine and wood tickled your nose. Soon, you found yourself back at your apartment and everything was just the way you left it behind. You collapsed into bed and felt a surge of energy. The surge raced and coursed through your blood veins. Sweat formed above your brow. You started coughing up phlegm as you dragged yourself to the toilet. It was happening again.

You thought you had it under control, but the episode continued. More phlegm ended up in the toilet as you tried to catch your breath. Images played across your mind. Series of binary numbers, a broken glass, and Natasha crying. When the vision stopped, your hands were gripping the toilet seat so tight, you could have ripped it off.

“She’s in danger.” You said to yourself. “Natasha’s in danger.”


	7. Chapter 7

Sweating from the vision you just had, you wiped your head before you grabbed your phone. You put in speed dial 2 and waited for any kind of voice. Your heart beat against your chest. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ You heard the ringer going. The phone was on. That was a good sign. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ Anytime now. Laura Barton would answer her phone. It’s okay. She was fine. _Thump. Thump. Thump._

No one answered the phone.

You tried again. It was a mistake. Maybe she wasn’t by her phone. Maybe the call didn’t go through. Your head came up with different excuses and images, distracting you from the very real, very possible excuse. 

The Avengers were hacked. Clint’s family was found. Someone was trying to hurt them. Someone powerful.

The ringer kept ringing. No, you wouldn’t do this. You wouldn’t sit here and do nothing and wait. You needed to act now. You tackled your closet and grabbed your ‘oh shit’ bag and your purse. Since the incident, you always packed an ‘oh shit’ bag just in case. It wasn’t until after your job that your philosophy of an ‘oh shit’ bag started to bleed throughout the whole company.

Your car whipped back on the road. Your Bluetooth phone hooked to the car. 

“Call Natasha Romanoff.”

Your car responded by dialing her immediately. Your tires kicked up the snow as it sped through the countryside. You heard a click and then a voice.

“You know. Tell me you know.”

“I had a vision. I’m going to the airport.”

“Don’t bother. Head towards this location.” Your GPS locked on a new location. It looked to be in the middle of nowhere.

“Where am I going? That’s the exact opposite of an airport, Nat.” You said sternly.

“You have to trust me.” Trusting Natasha wasn’t as second nature to you as it was for Clint. You made an illegal U-turn and started to speed in the opposite direction.

“Don’t fucking fuck me over, Nat.”

“I’m not. I have to go. Go to that location. Please. And hurry.” You heard another click. She hung up. This was bad. Worse than you ever thought it could be. Another ring came through. Your car spoke to you.

“Call waiting…Maria Hill…Call waiting…”

“Answer Maria Hill!” you shouted.

“Y/N.”

“I know,” you told your boss.

“I want details, Y/N.”

“It began as always. You know, the pain, the energy. I saw binary numbers. Broken glass. Their youngest crying.”

“Anything else?”

“No. It was so vague—

You heard other voices in the background. Maria directed orders aloud.

“She’s around here. How close are you to the gps location?” Maria asked. Two pieces came together. 

“You’re coming to get me. You’re in the helicarrier?” You sounded more tired. Your eyes started to droop. You slapped yourself awake. No, you can’t be fading out now.

“Stay with me, Y/N. We’re almost to you.”

You sharply inhaled. You would beat your own curse. A yawn tried to escape you, but you forced it back down. You heard the wind whipping around above the car. You screeched it to a stop and grabbed your bag. Racing out of the car, you waved your arms high in the air. 

Winds picked up around you and whipped the snow and ground like a small storm. The helicarrier lowered itself to the ground and a rather safe distance from you. Abandoning your car, you raced towards the helicarrier like mad. SHIELD was hacked. Your details weren’t safe anymore. No one’s was. 

The ship lifted you into the loading zone and lifted off the ground. Maria Hill was there waiting for you. Her shoulders were tense, and you swore you saw her anger in her aura. 

“Y/N,” she greeted you. “Were you followed?”

“No.”

“Does anyone know where you are?”

“Besides Natasha Romanoff, no. What happened?”

Maria exhaled a long sigh. As she started to walk into the ship, you followed her. You often forgot how big this carrier truly was. You tried to figure out how long you’d be here. You hadn’t even opened your parent’s Christmas gifts to you. You expected dust to build on them before you would get to touch them again.

The Helicarrier wasn’t a home, but the luxurious amenities definitely made being stuck here much easier. You watched other agents rush around you. You kept pace with Maria, hoping she would provide you answers.

“We’ve been hacked but you knew that,” Maria started. “It happened on Christmas, and somehow they got away with it.”

“Who? Who got away with it?”

“We don’t know,” Maria said while holding a fist at her side. You touched her shoulder and felt the anger surging through her. 

“Maria, you need to stay calm and focused. Irrational anger doesn’t lead to success. Focused anger does.”

She shook it off and continued walking with you. “Everyone’s scrambling. Including Stark Industries.”

“What does this mean? For everybody I mean?”

“We’re at war. This isn’t one we can fight with guns or planes or ships,” Maria turned the corridor and opened the first door on the right. “Everyone has to play their part. You’re more important now than ever before.”

You entered the small holding room and was immediately greeted by a hug from a small child.

“Natasha!” you shouted relieved that your godchild was safe on the ship. You lifted her from the ground. Her small hands gripped you tight.

“I’m scared,” she said. Those were the first words she said to you. Not ones of comfort or love, but ones of fear. You looked to see a disheveled Loki in the same room. He wore Midgardian pajamas and had heavy eyebags. You wondered if he slept. 

“It’s alright. I’m here. Your mom and dad are—

Loki shook his head at you, indicating something was terribly wrong. Another female agent entered the room on Maria’s orders.

“Sasha, will you please show little Natasha to her room?” Maria kindly asked. Natasha gripped onto you tight. 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be there soon, ok?” You assured her.

“Loki too?” She asked.

“Loki too,” you gave her to Sasha who carried her out of the room, leaving you, Loki, and Maria. 

“Loki?” Maria nodded to him.

“Right,” Loki clapped his hands. He turned to you. “It wasn’t long after you left. It started with Jarvis. He wasn’t answering commands correctly. Stark had uploaded Friday instead, but she cited several digital attacks on Jarvis and the system. The compound was set to blow up. As if a self-destruction mode had been activated. Laura grabbed Cooper. Clint carried Lila. I grabbed Nat. We were running out of there until Stark’s suits had been activated. I teleported us out of there. I don’t know where they are.”

The truth was much more terrifying than you thought. No wonder Loki didn’t sleep. Someone or a team of people have successfully hacked Stark’s suits. The idea of robots hurting others, hurting the Bartons angered you.

“Loki informed me that he and you have the responsibility of Natasha,” Maria said. “You’re her godparents.”

“We are,” you nodded.

“With the absence of Nat’s parents, you two will need to be her caretakers. At least, until we locate and secure Clint and Laura.”

“Wait, what about Cooper and Lila?” you asked. Maria showed you her tablet. Natasha Romanoff’s contact information displayed on the screen, along with three gps locations.

“They’re with Natasha. She intercepted both of them as she escaped in a helicopter. She is staying along the East coast.”

“So, let’s go meet them. Natasha needs her siblings. She needs to know they’re okay.” You insisted. Maria shook her head.

“It’s not that simple. Keeping them separated is the safest thing for them,” Maria pointed out to you. “The Barton’s are no longer safe under SHIELD’s protection. Someone out there has their names and their home address.”

“So what’s the plan exactly then? Take on new identities and pose as her parents?” Loki scoffed. 

“Exactly,” Maria confirmed.

You held up your hands. “Whoa, whoa, what?”

Maria handed both of you a folder of your own. Inside, you found new documents, a new ID, a home address, and a wealth of information on your new identity. You glanced over at Loki whose eyes went as wide as yours. 

“These are your new identities. Natasha has her own as well. The three of you will be relocated where all of you will lay low until we can do something.”

“What?” you reacted.

“Do you seriously think I’ll lay low and just watch?” Loki clenched his fists. 

“Natasha is doing this with Cooper and Lila. Bruce Banner has fled back to another remote country. Steve and Bucky have a friend in Wakanda,” Maria sighed. She rubbed her head. “Please don’t make this any harder. They have Tony’s suits and weapons. Until we have some control over the situation, we need to protect all of you.”

“All of you?” Loki stepped forward. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“All of you. The Supers.” Maria answered, looking at you. Loki narrowed his eyes.

“But she’s not—

You grabbed Loki’s arm tightly and went inside his head. Childhood memories played around in your head. A playful Loki swinging a sword at Thor. Another Loki that ran through tall sweetgrass. But the last one had Frigga holding Loki tight. Then, you let go.

A shocked Loki collapsed to the ground. He touched his arm and then his head, feeling something there.

“What? Wha—

“I’m a mindplayer, Loki,” you told him.


	8. Chapter 8

“A mindplayer?” Loki said. “What in the name of Hel is a mindplayer?” You looked to Maria Hill. She nodded, taking the cue. As she left, the door clicked shut behind her. 

“Do you mind sitting down?” you asked Loki.

“Will you force me if I don’t?” Loki sighed. “I’m sorry. That was rude. This whole situation has left me with more confusion than answers.” You nodded.

You let out a long exhale. You realized you, Loki, and little Natasha were safe. You knew Natasha had the other kids. They were safe. Tony Stark and Pepper were safe. As were others. The situation wasn’t ideal, but what could you do?

“I wasn’t born with this power. It was forced on me. During the…Incident.”  
Loki’s eyes narrowed. “I did this to you?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Not directly. I was in New York when everything happened. I had multiple jobs. Retail, coffee barista, to name a few. Clint wanted me in the area to just have someone he knew outside of work. I remembered he missed our regular meet up one day and then everything happened. I just thought Clint was busy with work.

“And then I saw it in the sky. I was running late to a shift and there it was. A hole in the sky. Aliens started to rush out of it like they were spiders swarming. I turned to run the opposite way. I had to get inside somewhere. I must have run three blocks when I saw all of the destruction behind me. Cars flipped. Traffic had come to a stop. Smashed windows and blocked exits. I turned down an alleyway as a shortcut back to my apartment.

“As soon as I ran out of the alley opening, one of those aliens caught a hold of my throat. I screamed and cried in its face. It took its mask off and screamed back in mine. I thought I was going to die.   
Another one saw us and it held up its blaster at my face. I closed my eyes and said my prayers and then it happened.”

“What happened?” Loki leaned forward.

“The blaster didn’t kill me,” you explained further. “The energy of the blaster went through my head and it burned like hell. I remembered how much I screamed until they dropped me on the ground. Next thing I remember was Clint and Laura waking me up in the hospital days later.”

“I’m sorry.” The words spilled out of him before you could take a breath. His eyes look downward. “I’m so sorry. I really am. I wish I knew what to say.”

“It’s alright,” you reacted. 

“Did the powers come then? After the blast?”

“I started to have visions. Of mundane things. Clint running late for a date with Laura. A homeless man winning the lottery. I thought they were dreams until they became reality. I went about my life, thinking maybe I just needed therapy. And then I saw Stark’s inventons turning against him. I couldn’t let that idea go, so I told Clint who handed me over to SHIELD.”

“And they employed you?” Loki glanced at the door again to see Agents running by. It was still chaotic out there.

“They studied me for a long time. Asked me every question they had. Nick Fury didn’t believe me at first. I had visions of the Scarlet Witch and her brother. When they confirmed that information to be true, they made me a part of their team officially.”

“And you’ve been with them since.” Loki finished off.

You nodded, looking away from him. You had visions of the future, but you never thought once that you would be here sitting across from the man that indirectly gave you powers and having this conversation with him.

“I see why you weren’t so warm to me then,” Loki apologized. “Have you powers caused you pain?”

“Yes,” you said. “I throw up and have blurry vision afterwards. Sometimes, they’re awful enough to drain me completely.”

“And how are you now?” Loki sat up more, noting your exhaustion. “Should I escort you back to your room or—

“No,” you shook your head. “I’ll be fine.” A silence fell in the room. Loki stood up and started to digest everything he had heard. You half expected the god to be angry or throw a fit. You only watched him calmly pace the room back and forth. 

“What do your powers entail? You have visions and when you touch other you see into their past,” Loki’s thumb moved up and down his chin. “But what else can you do?”  
You looked to the door again and around the room. “I’m not sure if I can tell you.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“SHIELD and Stark Industries has been hacked. What if they can hear us now? Or see us?” The realization cut deeper. “What if they heard our plans for Natasha?”  
Loki’s mouth was left open as his eyes starting to search the room. His concern growing deep just as yours did. His fingers beckoned you to come closer to the door. Again, you saw Agents weaving in and out of rooms. There seemed to be nothing that was calm.

“They don’t have a handle on the situation,” Loki whispered, looking to you. You saw his blue eyes staring back at yours. Both of you held that focus until you heard him in your head.

‘Nod if you can hear me.’

Once you nodded, Loki kept an eye on the door.

‘Go back to your seat as if nothing has happened. I wanted to keep an eye out here.’ You did as Loki said. You curled up in a spot and your mental conversation continued.

‘You are able to read minds, I assume?’

‘Yes.’

‘What else can you do?’

‘I can change them. Play with minds.’

‘Mindplayer. That makes more sense now.’ Loki shifted in his spot. ‘The abilities you have can be malicious I assume.’

‘Yes.’

‘Then you realize you are just as dangerous as the other Avengers, maybe even more so.’

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because we don’t know who has hacked us or what to do next. I need to be able to trust you. Her safety means everything to me. I can’t have anyone compromise that.’ Natasha. Loki was scared for her and for himself. You understood what he meant, but the truth hurt nonetheless. It could be anyone’s game.

‘You can trust me. I love her. More than anything.’ You watched Loki nod slowly. He backed away from the door as Maria Hill approached it again. This time without any tablet or file folders. She beckoned for both of you to follow her. 

Soon, you were reunited with your godchild. Loki held Natasha in his arms. She tucked her head into his chest where she felt safe. Both of you listened to Maria, but you kept your mind open to Loki’s, letting him know he could talk to you if there was something amiss.

“We’ll go over more details once we touch ground at Los Angeles,” Maria explained. “But I think I was clear. Natasha has custody of the older children. You have the youngest. Both of you will pose as her parents until we have found and located the Bartons.”

“But how can we be guaranteed safety?” Loki asked. “Even after you located the Bartons, what if it’s still not safe?”

“I don’t have the answer for that,” Maria responded. She sighed. “I just need you to work with me here. All of us are—

“Lost,” you finished her sentence. “We know.”

As the helicarrier started to land, thoughts raced through your mind. What would you do now? Where would you go? What if things weren’t so safe? What if Laura and Clint were never to be found? You wanted to panic until you saw Loki bouncing your shared godchild up and down on his knees without a care in the world.

No, you couldn’t panic now. She needed you. You would protect her, just as Loki did. After all, she meant everything to both of you. If Clint and Laura were gone, it was your turn now. That’s what being a godmother truly means.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki, Natasha, and you sat before Maria Hill in a makeshift office underground in an undisclosed location. There wasn’t any cameras in sight, but you heard Loki’s voice inside your head.

‘Where are we?’

‘Somewhere west,’ you answered in your head. Maria Hill gave you both manila folders containing new documents and IDs for your new identities. Lucinda Copeland was your new name whether you liked it or not. ‘Lucinda Copeland.’

‘Copeland? Did you say Copeland?’

‘I did,’ you thought, answering Loki in your silent conversation.

“Ms. Hill,” Loki addressed her. “You told us that we were to be Natasha’s caretakers. You didn’t say we were going to pretend to be married during it.” The realization struck you as you looked at Loki’s new identity: Thomas Copeland.

“It’s easier this way,” Maria argued. “No one questions a young family moving into town. You both need to be married until—

“You’re not kidding?” you reacted. “You’re serious. Loki and I have to pretend to be her parents.”

“Until we sort things through,” Maria assured you.

You sat back, trying to digest what has happened in only two weeks. You didn’t just pretend to be married to someone. That didn’t happen. That only happened in movies or books. This wasn’t real. 

You took another glance at your new ID again. There in little black letters was your new name: Lucinda Copeland. You opened Natasha’s to find hers as well: Natalie Copeland.

‘Unbelievable,’ you heard Loki’s thoughts. You had gone from completely hating and blaming this man for your powers to now sharing your godchild with him and pretending to be married to him. Unbelievable was correct.

Maria set you both up with everything you needed. Clothes, essentials, new cell phones. The works. None of it felt completely real until Loki and you sat in a used SUV with little Natasha in the backseat. She fell asleep while you drove on the highway.

“This is real. This is happening,” you said.

“Yup,” Loki nodded. 

“Right.”

“Where are we going exactly?” Loki looked to the GPS. Maria had programmed your new home address into the device. 

“Colorado? Does that mean anything to you?”

Loki shook his head. “I’ve only been to your New York and the Avengers Campus. This side of your world is new to me.” He looked away to the open fields outside. 

“So, we’re married now,” you said, trying to start a conversation.

“It would seem so.”

“Maybe we should come up with a story of how we met?”

“What’s wrong with how we met?” Loki asked in confusion.

“No, not that. I mean, you know to tell people. How we met. What our first date was. What was the wedding like?”

“Oh,” Loki sighed. “I see what you mean now.”

“So? What do you think?” you asked. Loki still looked forward until you snapped him out of it. “The better our lie is, the less anyone will suspect us. You’re the God of Lies.”

“I am. I’m thinking,” Loki’s eyes darted over his new paperwork. You noticed Loki’s new driver’s license. His government documents like a social security card and debit and credit cards. Then, you spied the place of his new employment. 

“They gave you a job?” you said in surprise.

“They didn’t give you a job?” Loki answered, looking over your paperwork. “I see. They did not. I expect you’ll be expected to stay at home with her.”

You frowned. Not that you didn’t love your favorite godchild, but you knew what you were capable of and you were expected to be a stay at home mother for little Nat. A pang of jealousy inspired your next words.

“So, what are they having you do exactly?” you glanced over at Loki’s paperwork again.

“I’m a lawyer?” Loki turned to you.

“Ah, someone who defends or fights for clients in our justice system.”

“Ah, when people go to be heard by their King like I pleaded to Odin about New York.”

“Exactly like that, yes,” you nodded. 

“This should be easy then,” Loki smirked. You kept your eyes on the road and pretended to not smile along with Loki.

The road winded up into the mountains. Cold air welcomed all of you into the part of the West that everyone forgot in America. You’ve seen westerns where the high noon sun created beads of sweat on the hero’s forehead. Here, you saw snow harden on the top of mountains in the distance. Signs warned you of falling ice and your speed on the road.

It wasn’t long until the GPS led you to a bustling mountain city. You could tell from their homes, their clothes, and their food that no one here struggled much. When you came closer to your new home, you noticed that Loki sat up. He didn’t fall asleep in front of you. He only let his head wander. You could only guess what he thought about.

It didn’t matter now. Bigger things were ahead.

You turned into a neighborhood where families and their pets spent their time outside. Cars looked either dirty or dirtier. Your new home sat in the middle of the block. The house was wider than it was tall. The front lawn grass looked normal with a landscaped garden. The long front porch hid the front windows where the curtains were drawn. 

The two car garage had a beige color to it. It matched the trim of the home. The majority of the home was a red-brown color. The same color you found in red rocks and red trees in forests. When you stepped out of the car, you felt the chilled air of the last bit of December. 

“I thought your North had snow,” Loki joined you, looking around. 

“This is Colorado,” you explained. “It snows here when it wants to.” Growing up, you visited your cousins here too many times. You knew Colorado. It wasn’t home by any means, but this wasn’t strange to you.

Natasha ran over to the door, bouncing to go inside. Loki opened the door and she took off like a rocket.

“I get to pick MY room!” she shouted behind her as she raced up the stairs to the second level. You looked around the first level. Surprisingly, the entire placed was furnished. A set of new couches decorated the open living room. The kitchen had an island bigger than your first apartment’s bathroom. Loki opened the fridge to find it stocked.

You looked around more to see a designated laundry room, an office space for Loki, and sunroom in the back of the house. This place was filled with bedsheets, towels, pillows, chairs, tables, and so   
much more, but none of it was yours. You supposed your heart broke a little. What if this was forever? What if you had to live like this for the rest of your life?

“This isn’t forever,” Loki assured you.

“How?—Oh,” you reacted. “You can read minds as well.”

“Not as well as you,” Loki said. “Mine is only magic. Yours is an actual superpower.”

“That you gave me to me.”

“Indirectly,” Loki corrected you. “I never pointed alien technology at anyone.” 

You gave him a long look.

“Okay, maybe I have,” Loki confessed. “Going back to the point, this isn’t forever. This isn’t the end of the world.”

“That makes me feel better when a God says that.”

“Is that sarcasm?” He questioned. You heard a small set of footsteps walk right up to you. A hand tugged your jeans and a familiar smile painted your goddaughter’s face.

“I picked my room! It has toys in it! New ones! Wanna see?” 

“Not now,” you said, suddenly feeling more exhausted than normal. All of the driving here and the exhaustion from the episode started to hit you all at once. Your heavy eye betrayed you, but before you could do anything Loki covered for you.

“Why don’t you show me and we’ll show Y/N later, hm?” Loki offered his hand out to the little girl. As they went upstairs, you took a blanket and a pillow and laid down in the sectional couch in the living room. News quietly played on the tv in the background.

_‘Tony Stark shutting down several projects and businesses tied to the Avengers Initiative today. U.S. Government working with him to find a solution to this sudden new problem…’_


	10. Chapter 10

You pushed a grocery cart with little Nat inside. As she played with your phone, you stocked up on food. Pasta, rice, and frozen vegetables. Basic stuff. Your min kept going elsewhere with questions.  
Where was Natasha Romanoff? Were the kids ok? Were Clint and Laura ok? What exactly happened? The fog only deepened when you realized no one told you exactly what happened. You only had your vision to rely on, and even then it wasn’t much. A screaming little Nat and a hacking screen. 

You weren’t stupid. Hacking SHIELD and the Avengers was a feat, and to do it successfully meant that the enemy was to be taken seriously. But who was the enemy? How did they do it? Why did they do it?

“Y/N,” said the little one, bringing you back to reality. “Something showed up.” You took the phone from her gentle hands and saw a text notification from Loki.

Loki: [your primitive technology is so easy to handle. you midgardians are also still as stupid as ever. i nearly have the boss wrapped around my finger]

You rolled your eyes at the message, but it seemed everything was slightly normal. It had only been a week since all three of you settled in the wintry Colorado town, and so far no one suspected a thing. Loki successfully handled his new legal job while you took on new duties as his ‘housewife’. Little Nat didn’t say much, but you knew she only got quiet if she was nervous or scared.  
Before you let her go back to playing with her new toys, your fingers brushed her hair. Gray and purple auras colored your mind while you heard sounds of a struggle. Her mind was still on that day. 

She missed her parents, and you didn’t blame her. You had to do something about it.

Chicken Parmesan was a favorite dish of your goddaughter’s. Maybe food would cheer her up. News played in the background as you slid the chicken breasts into the oven. Water started to boil on the stovetop. You listen to the Anchorwoman reading off another headline about a new flu strain spreading across America.

“Getting your flu shot is more important now more than ever. Experts say that this year’s strain is more dangerous than ones in the past few years. It is important to take care of yourselves and your loved ones, particularly the young, the old, and the sick,” she reported. The camera panned to the gentleman on her left.

“In national news, Tony Stark has reported that his company has been hacked. The event took place shortly after Christmas, and the FBI is now involved. They have categorized this as a terrorist attack. Stark issued a statement earlier today.” You watched Tony Stark face the press on his own, putting on a face that looked more angry and vengeful than ever.

“Out of all the years Stark Industries has been here improving the lives of others, I have never been more floored than right now. This was an attack on the good of humanity. I will be personally working with the U.S. government, the UN, and other international associates to fix this situation. We do not know much, but we do know that whoever did this is looking to do more damage.”

The camera switched back to the newsroom where the gentleman finished up the story. “As many are put out of work during this time, members of the Avengers have gone dark. Several news organizations have attempted to reach out to the Avengers and not one member has been found.”

The fear settled into your stomach like a bad day at Chipotle. You heard the front door open and close, and you looked up to see Loki in a suit. He carried his black jacket as he unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt. His hair was completely disheveled, but undershirt showed underneath. Your eyes and mind started to wonder until Loki greeted you.

“You’re making dinner?” 

“Uh-I-yes,” you reacted quickly. “Chicken Parmesan.”

“Natasha’s favorite?” Loki said aloud. “Something warrant this reward?” Loki set down his bag and jacket on the nearest sitting chair.

“No,” you shook your head. “Nothing special. I’m just concerned.”

“Concerned? Did something happen?”

“I read her mind. She’s scared. She misses her parents, but she’s not telling us.”

“Understandable,” Loki sighed. He sat on a barstool next to the kitchen island. “Food helps cure fear?”

“It brings a comfort to Midgardians, yes,” you educated him. “That’s why you’ve probably heard of comfort food. We don’t just eat food to survive. We also eat to feel better or to feel safe.”

“Is that why I have coworkers with stomachs bigger than their brains? Comfort?” Loki joked. His cruel laughter was quickly shut down by you.

“Some people are lonelier than you think. Sometimes food is the only happiness they have,” your dark tone was noted by the god. Loki quickly changed the subject.

“Have you heard anything?” 

“No, have you?” you asked him back. When he shook his head at you, you sighed. Every day you asked each other that and every day it was the same answer. “I did watch the news. Seems like its common knowledge that we all went dark. Stark Industries is being temporarily shut down.”

“Stark’s taking the blame?” Loki asked. “I assume it’s easier to report that a company was hacked rather than a part of the government was hacked. Easier to swallow. People wouldn’t be in fear.”

“Like we are?”

“Are you scared? Are you sleeping?” Loki asked. The house was big enough for you to sleep in separate rooms. Of course, both of you had put minimal effort into pretending to be married. Loki had let you have the master bedroom to yourself while he kept to himself in another bedroom in the house.

“I—

“Please don’t lie to me,” Loki assured you. His fingers almost reached to yours. “We need to trust each other, remember?”

Your mind swirled with your darker thoughts. It wasn’t that you were sensitive to other minds or auras. It was that you hadn’t conquered your own fears and demons. Your best friend’s safety plagued your mind like nothing else. You admittedly knew nothing of what was happening, and it hurt.

“I kept waking up last night,” you admitted to him. Loki sighed.

“How long has this been happening?”

“Since we got here,” you said quietly. A silence took over the room. Loki pushed himself out of the seat and walked over to you.

“I can help, but only so much,” Loki took one of your hands and his fingers drew a rune on your wrist. “I had nightmares as a child about the Frost Giants. I learned this quickly from my mother.” The rune darkened your skin and slowly faded away. 

“What will it do?”

“Ward off any awful thoughts, but you still need to sleep. You have to be a good mother to her,” Loki said. 

“I am a good mother to—

“Not when you can’t sleep at night you aren’t,” Loki urged. “I’m not attacking you. I understand what is going through your mind. I don’t know where my brother currently is. I don’t fear for his safety, but I worry for him. Wherever my brother is, I have to be at peace with that. It’s out of my control. Just like Laura and Clint. We have Nat. We can protect her. Understand what I’m saying?”  
Loki was right. You couldn’t be your best for her if you weren’t the best for yourself. 

“That’s kind of you to help me,” you said. Loki smiled.

“That’s what friends do for each other.”

“We’re friends?” you chuckled. 

“Of course, we are!” Loki laughed more breaking away from the depressing moment before. “You make me dinner and I help you sleep. It’s a win-win.”

Both of you joined in on laughter before you heard a tone go off. Both of you looked towards the television to see Maria Hill staring back at it.

“Loki, Y/N, we need to talk. We’ve located the Bartons.”


	11. Chapter 11

You sighed at the television. They could spy on you. You glanced towards Loki and he gave you the same look. He came to the same conclusion on his own. Both of you walked towards the flat screen as a new visual came into play. Your coffee table displayed a digital map of the world. It zoned in on Russia. Two red markers blinked.

“They’re alive. And in Russia?” Loki said. 

“It would seem so. Pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together, and now I can tell you both.”

“Now? You didn’t have clearance then?” you questioned her. Your boss had clearance to do most things. Confusion and anger rose in you when all of this unfolded. You felt a slow sense of relief, knowing that your best friend and her husband were alive.

“We didn’t have enough information then. We do now.”

“What changed?” Loki asked. Maria showed both of you a flashdrive. 

“Wheatley,” you said. Loki exchanged looks between you and Maria.

“Wheat? What?”

“Your people are a thousand leagues ahead of us in technology,” Maria started to explain. “Years ago when the internet started to boom, we teamed up with a colleague of ours, Mr. Johnson, and together we made Wheatley. A highly-intelligent robot to spy for us. We knew the internet and digital age were coming. We needed to protect ourselves.”

“So, you made a spy?”

“Technically yes. Wheatley goes into any listening devices that our enemies have connected to wifi. He just sits and listens.”

“And what did you find out?” you asked. Maria typed away at her computer and changed the visual on the coffee table. Hydra’s symbol came into sight. You scoffed. 

“There’s more to this than just Hydra,” Maria warned. “They’re working with somebody. Or another organization.”

“Were you aware of their affiliates?” Loki asked. You smiled to yourself. Loki took this incredibly seriously. This was not his fight. Yet, he cared about this just as much as you did. Maybe he was looking for his own answers.

“Hydra spreads like wildfire. Sometimes we can’t keep up. Whoever they worked with, those are the people who caused the mass hacking. Not Hydra. Hydra does have custody of several members of   
SHIELD, the Bartons, and possibly your brother.”

“Thor was captured by Hydra?” Loki said slowly. “Something doesn’t add up here. It’s incredibly difficult to keep Thor in chains. Even you had issues doing so.”

“While that is true, Thor hasn’t been found yet.”

“He’s not in Norway?”

“No,” Maria showed another red marker in Europe. “That was where he was seen last. The signal was interrupted.”

“Interrupted? You put a tracking device on my brother?”

“All of the avengers have one. We never use them for your own privacy, but now is a matter of safety. We need to protect you.”

“Where is it?” Loki asked. You felt his energy change. Your eyes saw the red in his. You picked up his own heat. You touched Loki and felt him cooling off.

“You said the Bartons are alive and captured by Hydra,” you reminded Maria, keeping her on track. The coffee table showed you Russia again.

“They seem to be in a warehouse twenty miles outside St. Petersburg. We’re not sure how they got there, but Clint was smart enough to speak loud and clear. Wheatley picked up his voice and ID both of them.” A sense of relief washed over you.

“Great! So when do we leave to get them back?”

“It’s not that simple. We need to lay low. We still don’t know the reason behind the hacking and how large this reach has. We need you all to lay low.”

“You said you had more info!” You felt Loki’s touch. His hand touched your arm. You started to feel calm.

“I know all of you are angry and confused. We’re…doing the best we can. I’m sorry.”

You backed away from the screen. Maria always knew what was going on. She always kept you in the loop. This time was different. There was no answers. Everything was up in the air and your life went with it. Loki apologized for both of you and Maria went away. 

You continued making dinner for all three of you furiously. Loki sat at the island, waiting for some kind of response from you.

“So, it wasn’t the news we wanted—

“How do we go on from here? We barely know anything!”

“So, we come up with our own plan,” Loki suggested. You sighed.

“Maria just proved that they’re watching us. They can hack into that television and who knows what else at any time. They could be listening to us right now. We have trackers. We can’t exactly leave.”

“We’re not the bad guys,” Loki pointed out. “Why are you so inclined to think they’re watching us?” The uncomfortable feeling didn’t settle in your stomach well. You turned back to cooking and avoided Loki’s question. He sighed and looked over the house. 

“All I’m suggesting is that we investigate ourselves. It seems that SHIELD is too afraid and too big to do anything radical. We cannot save Clint and Laura on our own, but we can find out where my brother is. It’s a start.”

You took the chicken out of the oven and started plating everything. Loki’s idea wasn’t rash. It was a good start, but how would you go about it while both of you watched over little Natasha? Maybe you were thinking too much. Maybe Loki wasn’t thinking enough.

The next morning you woke up to the smell of pancakes and the sound of bacon sizzling on the stove. You smiled to see Natasha helping Loki in the kitchen. Loki held her over the stove and they watched the bacon.

“Szzzzzz,” Loki made the noise in her ear. Natasha giggled and imitated the sound back.

“Szzzzz! Ah!” she gasped. “Y/N! I wanna show Y/N my pancakes!” She wiggled against Loki until he put her down. Little Natasha grabbed a small plate and walked over to you. She held the plate high over her head to show you burnt and misshaped blobs of sugar and flour. 

“Good job!” you complimented her. “Can I have one?” You took one of her pancakes and attempted to put it on a plate until a cough in the kitchen interrupted you.

“Did you say please?” Loki said, smiling back at you. 

“Oh! Well, I’m sorry! May I please have one of your pancakes?” you asked Natasha again. She smiled and nodded. You sat at the kitchen island and saw two little hands stretch up to you. You picked her up and set her on your lap. Loki turned around and you caught a peek of his chest through the robe he was wearing. 

You didn’t anticipate Loki looking at you back, catching a peek at your own skin. 

“So!” Loki laughed. “I say we go look around town today. Get to know our home? Maybe go to a park?” Natasha’s face lit up.

“I wanna go to a playground!” she bounced in your lap. The small Colorado town had much more than you thought. Healthy grocery stores with freshly cut fruit, families walking around and shopping in the town center, and small business with chalkboard signs out front. You watched Natasha climb onto the playground structure; Loki stood beside you.

“So, Thor? Where do we start?”

Loki smiled at you. “Despite my brother’s intelligence, he can land himself in stupid situations.”

“Where do you think he is then?”

“Somewhere stupid.”

You laughed. Both of you watched and clapped for Nat as she went down the slide. She started to climb back up the stairs again. This turn around, Nat let a boy of the same age slide down in front of her. He reminded you of a younger Loki. His black hair was slicked back. His gray eyes reflected in the sunlight as if they held small storms in them.

“Thomas! Good to see you!” your face turned towards the man who spoke. You saw a much older man walk towards both of you. Loki grabbed your hand in his.

“Parker!” Loki smiled and stood up, making you stand with him. “This is my wife, Lucy.” 

Confused, your mind flashed back to the documents. You weren’t Y/N L/N. You were Lucy Copeland. You extended your hand out to the older man.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you—

“Parker. Parker Novak.”

“This is my boss, Lucy,” Loki explained to you. Holding your hand tighter. You needed to sell this. You placed your hand over Loki’s chest and leaned forward.

“Oh! I heard he’s settling in your law firm well.”

“He is! What a riot,” Parker laughed. The wrinkles on his face showed when he smiled. His hair was similar to the young boy’s. Dark gray hair slicked back with a long expensive black coat on. A red scarf was folded perfectly around his neck. “Is that your daughter over there? The one playing with my grandson?”

You looked over again to see the pair playing together on the slide, each taking turns.

“Grandson? Oh yes, that would be Natalie. Making friends wherever she goes.”

“She gets it from her mother,” Loki smiled. “Certainly not from me.” The three of you laughed. Parker nodded and quickly glanced at his watch.

“Ah, I don’t mean to be rude, but it seems Victor and I are running late. It was a pleasure to meet you, Lucy.” 

“And you, Mr. Novak,” you smiled at the man as he turned. He called out to the boy. Victor ran to his grandfather and waved goodbye to Natasha. Loki let go of your hand and turned to you.

“Think he bought it?” he asked.

“I would have. It was only polite conversation,” you smiled. “He seemed nice.”

“He is,” Loki looked over watching the distance. “Do you think there’s spies? Hydra spies?”

“Here? No,” you shook your head. The world was a minefield now. You watched Natasha continue playing on the playground. Everything seemed so safe and sound around her. Loki and you wished you could say the same.


	12. Chapter 12

You watched Natasha play in her room for a while. She was speaking with people around her as if she were a queen. She wore a lovely plastic crown and had her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. When she turned your way, you saw her eyes. Natasha’s brown eyes were gone. A milky white fog had taken over them. 

Before you could step towards her, Loki held you back.

“An illusion, that’s all,” Loki assured you. His hand rubbed your shoulder.

“You let her play inside her mind like that?” you questioned him.

“Of course,” Loki narrowed his eyes. “The Bartons have allowed it. She’s an imaginative child.”

“She’ll learn more of the pretend world in her head instead of the real one.”

“She’s five,” Loki said. His brow furrowed. “Let her be a child. Her parents were missing, possibly not even alive. She’s away from her siblings. This is a whole new world for her.”

“So, you let her cope by having her live inside her pretend world?”

“Where she’s happy. Last night when I tucked her in, she asked where her parents are.”

“What did you say?”

“I lied. I told her they’re on a very important adult vacation. And that they’ll be back soon. Are you going to disagree with how I handled that too?”

“No,” you backed down. “I don’t want her to grow up between two worlds. Sometimes, I still can’t tell what’s real and what’s been in my head.”

“Don’t worry. This isn’t a normal thing. Have you had any visions since we got here?”

“No. My powers have been radio silent. Well, at least the ones I can’t control.”

Loki had you step away from little Natasha’s door and into his bedroom. He had one of the smaller bedrooms, and let you have the master. Still, he utilized his space well. His bed was neatly made, something you both had in common. Loki had bookshelves lining one wall with his books in stacks. His shelves looked more like a museum of his mind than something displaying books. There were trinkets, Asgardian technology, and two jars filled with bottlecaps.

“Bottlecaps?” you pointed.

“Ah,” Loki reacted. He started searching the shelves for something. “I’ve begun to collect Midgardian things. My therapist instructed me to ‘fall in love’ with Midgard by collecting things I like about the world. I like your ale.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” you remembered that. Loki handed you a book. It was fairly new and the leather cover enticed you. The title ‘On Control’ shined in the gold font it was in.

“I feel very responsible for your condition,” Loki confessed. “I can control my powers. Let me help you control yours.”

“That’s impossible.”

“It’s not,” he smiled at you. “All it takes is practice. The more you practice, the better control you have. Soon, you won’t be fainting or throwing up anymore. You’ll be able to command visions to you. You’ll be able to play minds better. Don’t you want that?” It seemed like a daunting task, but what Loki said was enticing. If you gained control, you could help more. 

“When can we begin?” 

Natasha held both of your hands as you entered the prestigious preschool that Parker Novak had recommended to you both. The young children wore uniforms and each teacher had a doctorate degree in their subject. Loki wore a polished suit with tones of green throughout. You wore a simple black dress with heels.

“You look like you’re going to a funeral,” Loki commented.

“What? I like black.”

“As do I, but this will work better.” With a snap of his fingers, your outfit brightened up in large floral designs with matching tones of green under. A string of pearls appeared around your neck.

“You want us to match?”

“If we both dress well, we’re a normal, rich family who wants their daughter to get into this school. It’s about looks here.” Loki had a point. You watched the secretary knock on the dean’s door. Her dress belt was designer. Her designer shoes clicked the polished hardwood floor. 

“The Dean will see you now,” she smiled and walked back to her desk. Her manicured fingers typed away at her keyboard again. Before you and Loki could walk in, another woman called out behind you.

“Hello! I’m Dr. Sarah. I’d like to take Natalie on a tour if that’s all right with you.” Her smile warmed you. You shook her hand. The immediate contact took you inside her mind. Sarah had built her career around children. She wanted nothing but to shape and mold the minds of them and love them since she wasn’t able to have any of her own. 

“Dr. Sarah, I hate to impose—

“No, it’s alright Thomas,” you placed a reassuring hand on your pretend husband. You bent down to kiss Natasha’s head. “Go with her, Nat.” She waved a tiny goodbye to you both as Dr. Sarah exited the waiting area.

“You had a glimpse inside her mind?” Loki questioned.

“She had true and good intentions, but yes. I did.”

“Good. Do it again with the dean.”

Loki and you were welcomed into the dean’s office with the greeting smell of vanilla and cotton. Two bookshelves carried distinguished books and picture frames of the dean and his family. College degrees and doctorate degrees hung on the wall. The thick glass windows reminded you how old the building was. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Copeland,” the dean’s deep voice comforted you. His salt and pepper beard looked as wise as the degrees on the wall. “I’m Dr. Malik Andrew Robinson II. Welcome to Andrew Academy. From both of your resumes, I can assume you’re new to Colorado?”

“We are,” Loki nodded. “We only moved here about a month ago. We wanted to give us a chance to really settle in before we put Natalie in school again.”

“That’s an interesting choice,” Dr. Malik said. “May I ask why you moved here?” You chimed in by placing your hand on Loki’s knee.

“He was offered a position with a law firm that we couldn’t pass up. Colorado is a wonderful place to raise a family, and we never had the chance until now. We found our forever home.” Dr. Malik smiled brightly at you both. Loki waited. You needed to get inside the dean’s head. 

From what you knew, you needed physical contact with someone to play inside their mind. Unluckily for you, there was a large desk between you and the dean. You had to find some other way. 

“How did you find out about us?” Dr. Malik continued. Loki took his turn, distracting the dean while you focused on the dean himself. His wide nose took in every scent that the vanilla had to offer. His smile was even grander. Someone who has seen more happiness than most people and he was grateful for it. You looked around his desk for anything, but most things were out of your reach. Pens, desk trinkets, and a candle. No, that wouldn’t work.

You looked at the Dean again and felt a spark in your mind when he looked back at you. Attention. You needed his attention.

“Dr. Mailk,”you interrupted. “Could you tell us more about the extracurricular programs you offer here at the academy?”

“Of course,” he smiled. A he listed and explained different programs such as art and theatre. You gained his full attention. Once he had his eyes on you, you focused your energy more into his face. You began to see an accomplished man who worked harder than everyone to get the life he had. You saw his own grandkids surrounding him at Christmas time. His immediate thoughts came to you as well. Through his eyes, he saw a rich, young family that wanted to make roots here. Something he identified with.

You squeezed Loki’s hand, hoping to give him an indication of what you saw. 

“Do you have any other questions?” he asked.

“No, I think we’re good.” 

“Thank you for your time, Doctor. When will we find out?” Loki asked.

“An acceptance or a denial letter will be sent to your home in a week,” Malik told you both. “It’s been a true pleasure. Give Novak my best.

Nat quietly watched television while you and Loki ate popcorn behind her. 

“So, were you able to do it?”

 

“I was. He liked us. We aligned with his values. She’s going to the academy,” you smiled. You offered Loki a high five and he happily matched you. His eyes turned back to the television and narrowed.

“What exactly are we watching again?” 

It was your turn to put little Nat to sleep. You tucked her in. Her mother’s dark curls laid all over the pillow. She held onto her favorite teddy bear and looked up to you.

“Do you want me to sing you a song?” you asked. She nodded happily and you began a tune you were familiar with.

_Dancing bears,_  
Painted wings,  
Things I almost remember,  
And a song someone sings,  
Once upon a December.  
Someone holds me safe and warm,  
Horses prance through a silver storm,  
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory. 

The lullaby lulled your favorite girl right to sleep with pictures of people dancing in her head. Her pretty closed eyes looked too peaceful. Her little hand held your hand, and you felt something that you didn’t feel before. You always loved Natasha and the rest of the Barton family. It never occurred to you to have your own before. 

With your mother constantly asking about dates and your last boyfriend using your cushy, high paying job as a reason to be a dick, family wasn’t in the foreseeable future for you. You turned away from Natasha to see Loki standing in the doorway. You both jumped.

“Sorry!” Loki whispered loudly. “I was only passing by when I heard your singing.”

“I’m so sorry about—

“No! Please don’t apologize. It’s lovely. It’s so wonderful,” Loki laughed. “I’ve seen many singers in the royal palaces of Asgard, and you’re better than all of them.” Your eyes started to shift around the room while your fingers played with each other.

“No, no. You don’t have to say that.”

“But it’s true. That song. Is it an old Midgardian song? It sounds old.”

“I wish, but it comes from a movie,” you admitted.

“Perhaps we should watch it sometime. You and I together. Maybe you could even sing that song again. Good night, Y/N.”

You smiled at Loki warmly as you retreated to your own bedroom. “Good night, Loki.”

You felt something arouse you again. It was the same attraction you felt on the Avengers Compound and the Polar Express. A happiness that spread through your chest. A fluttering heart that matched your wandering mind. Loki was your friend for now, but now you had secretly hoped for something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song referenced here is 'Once upon A December' from the movie Anastasia. You can listen to the full song on youtube here ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1zamKoUREI )


End file.
